Day-7 of my self-denial of solid foods is almost over and like Days 2-6, I was never seriously close to eating anything. That isn't to say that I don't want to eat food, because I do, very badly. I just know that I have no problem drinking some V8 as oppose to crunching an apple or a handful of chips. However, I do have flashes of impulse that at the very least press my self-prescribed parameters.
The List (Keep in mind I have not done any of these):
- A spoonful of Mayo: after all, I could suck it through a straw and the spoon is just it's transport from the bottle to my lips
- Blended McDonald's French Fries: luckily to avoid this issue I've pretty much ruled out blending
- Beth's Fingers After Eating Chex Mix: Straight up, she'd of hit me so I didn't do it
- Meijer Butter Pretzel Braids: Opened a new bag for Daniel, they smelled so good
- Ketchup off Daniel's Plate: Kind of desperate
- The Inside of a Cadbury Creme Egg: If Lent didn't end before Easter I would
- A Blended Double Cheese Burger w/ Extra Pickles: See French Fries
- The Peanut Butter Off of The Knife Used to Make The Boy's a PB&J: Puts me just one step away from bottle feeding all condiments to myself
That's it for week one of: "The Things I've Been Tempted to Shove Down My Taste Hole". In regards to the "no blending" rule - I break it w/ blueberries. Upon consulting my doctor he told me that I'll need the good carbs that berries have, to keep my energy up. I happen to have frozen blueberries in my freezer, so once a day they go into a blended Slimfast shake.
Today I thought a little more about the "why I'm doing this?" and it kind of scared me. Upon examination, a very strong emotion was complacency. I said to myself, "I'm doing it, I've proved I can do it, now it's just a matter of time." I thought that since I had forecast that I was going to do it and now I'm doing it, why does the "why" matter? But it has to matter, otherwise I'm just doing one of the stupidest diets since "Cabbage soup and watermelon" and at the end of Day-40, I don't want the last 6-Weeks to have been about sad, shallow, vanity.
I won't miss my double chin (it won't be gone long) or that I'll be near my wedding weight, those are a couple perks. But I was healthy in my body before I started this and very happy with how I look and feel. I do need the "why", because when it is over the "why" is what will make the occasional mood swings (to be blogged about another day), the inconvenience of not eating, the 74 times I pee a day, or the redundant taste of liquid meals, all worth it. The "why" is how Jesus, my Lord and savior, ties it all together. When I take the diet out of the equation it gets confusing, but it should still add up. Blogging helps me to try and makes sense of everything and I'm now realizing that it helps hold me accountable for the "why". Without the blog I'd would have completed the diet successfully, but I think after 40-Days, it would have just been a weird diet.
I didn't pray for weeks on end asking God to tell me what to give up for Lent. In fact, I don't recall when, but one day I just spouted out that I'd give up solid foods for Lent and I didn't one pray about it. I now pray about it and though this journey wasn't founded by prayer, hopefully it will be clarified and completed with it.
I don't know... maybe today helped me to realize that diet is easy, it just takes patience and determination, stuff that I already knew that I had. That like the spoon with the mayo, the diet is just the vessel to get God more on my mind, I don't know... maybe.
I'm hoping that "why" eventually transitions into "what now" and again to "alright let's do it" - I am pretty sure that after Day-40 the road hasn't ended.
Random Notes: Started the day at 203 lbs, 36" waist (FYI, I have wide hips and I'm still at least 15 lbs from being a 34" waist). My muscles are slow to recover from the lift, which is sad but good to know. I'll ended around 1500 calories today and I'm wondering if I can get a Slimfast endorsement when this is all over.
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