Largely, Day-45's entry is about the evening of Day-44.
It is true, my fast is over, the liquids are once again washing down solids and not replacing them. Beth and I enjoyed a wonderful evening on Thursday, though not before I was given a pop quiz.
Actually, it was more like a test, one last little challenge to remind me that I'm not in charge and will always have room for improvement.
A little background:
Beth and I decided to celebrate my eating in grand fashion. Attend the Maunday Thursday service at Church, dinner at the Six One Six, desert in the Chop House basement lounge, overnight in the Amway Hotel and take Friday off work to spend it together.
For preparation I had arranged for my mom to spend the night with the boys, booked a room at the Amway, cleared my Friday schedule, setup friends to meet us for desert and checked with the Pastor, so I knew what would be a safe time for dinner reservations, before I called the Six One Six. I had everything planed, we were on schedule, I was in control and happy and excited and sure that it was how life is intended to be.
I was wrong. The Maundy Thursday service was as advertised: somber, though provoking, emotional and best of all on pace to have us out the door by 8:00 pm. Around 7:50 pm we started Holy Communion; the Body of Christ was going to be the first food my teeth chewed in 44-Days, it was the moment I had been waiting for and I nearly blew it.
To commemorate the Last Supper our Pastor had each row of pews released individually, as a row we made its way to the front, the Pastor had a moment of quiet prayer for that row. Beth and I were sitting in the last row of pews and as I watched, I counted how a long it took for a row to be released, prayed upon and receive communion; about four-minutes before returning back to one's seat. My annoyance bubbled, my skin flushed, I ground my teeth, breathed heavily, and actually started sweating.
I mean, I called the Pastor and he personally told me that we'd be done by 8:00 pm. This isn't fair, this isn't how it is supposed to go. Why are they praying so long? Why are they walking so slow?
I was in funk; Beth put her arm over my shoulder and told me it would be okay, I growled back through gritted teeth, "It's ruined, it's all ruined". The worst part was that I was being selfish and knew it. I was so upset about being upset, I feared that I had ruined everything that I had worked towards, that I had ruined the evening, that I had not learned anything, that I had let myself, Beth and those who've been supporting me down.
After a few more minutes of stewing and contemplating just leaving, our pew was released for the front. While walking forward a wave and guilt for the last twenty minutes swept over me. As we got to the front, circled around our Pastor, put our arms over one another's shoulders and started to receive the prayer my heart cried and eyes followed suit. As we moved to the next station to receive Communion, I knew how meaningless the time waiting for my turn truly was and why I was seated in the last row of pews. Then, when chewing the bread that was the Body of Christ, I knew that I has just learned one last lesson for Lent.
For the record the Church service was great and the manner in which Communion was executed was perfect.
Beth and I hit the parking lot and were on the road to dinner at 8:18 pm. We arrived at the restaurant at 8:32 pm and our meal was a nice one, desert with great-friends was perfect, and sleeping in to not be awoke by little ones is everything it should be and more. Chewing bread, sushi, french fries, olives, steak, fish, cheeses, potato chips - is what I had been missing for the past 44-Days.
Random Notes: The hotel room didn't have a scale but when checked about about 3:00 pm in the afternoon I was 194 lbs and the calorie count was definitely lost. For those worrying about my digestive system, only a little gas and stomach wrenches as it readjusted to processing solid foods.
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