It's Friday @ 3:50 PM and I'm celebrating the weekend with a beer. I'd be heading home but I'm waiting on a call from a Vendor. I don't feel like working, so I'll blog.
After surviving Corned Beef and Cabbage last night and the smell of my office manager's lunch today, I know that I'm not going to slip up tonight. BTW - Kyle, my office manger, had a pasta bowl and bread sticks from Pizza Hut. His lunch totaled over 2,000 calories. Through a wall and closed door, Kyle's lunch still smelled like it was worth every last one of those butter stuffed, salt coated, creamy carb filled bites, I wanted to lick the cardboard box it came in.
When I write at night I've noticed that I find time to reflect before and during my writing. When writing the next morning or in the afternoon it's rushed and I tend to just type what pops into my head. Beth and most people who know me well, would advise that I not type unfiltered; that is probably sound advice and I'll compromise by not getting real deep right now.
It's been a hectic week and I have not consumed any solids in 10 days. Despite having adequate calories and nutrients, I am always hungry. Through the chaos of work, Daniel's pneumonia, Lent and being Irish, I still find that I am thinking more of God, our relationship, looking for him around me and asking "why am I doing this?", "where is my path taking me?", "is this what I'm supposed to be doing?". These questions are hard because sometimes I know the answer and I don't always like what they are. Change can be easy but correcting what I don't like does not always seem like the best course of action. So like the busy week requires, I'll wait and hope for clarity tomorrow.
Random Notes: Started the day at 202. As of 4:08 PM I've had 780 Calories, will probably finish about 1600. Have a great weekend!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Day-9: It's Good To Be Irish
Despite the fact that Corned Beef and Cabbage is one of my ALL-TIME favorite meals, Day-9 will both end a success and include the lion's share of 3 pitchers, of green beer!
Beth and I went out to Pete's Tavern with some friends (most of whom do not read this) and in addition to the green beer, Pete's had corned beer and cabbage on the menu. Pete's also had some crazy old lady, dressed in green, playing the accordion table-side, which is somehow festive?
Prior to going out to Pete's, Beth was able to work from home today and watch Daniel, so that I was able to go into the office. Despite not having the additional stress of caring for Daniel, I didn't have much time for self enlightenment and have nothing new to add. I did get into a discussion with a friend about why I don't take Sunday's off from my fasting. To me, the idea of taking Sunday's off in a sacrifice for Lent is silly; every 7th-Day, during his 40-Days, Jesus didn't call out "Hey Beelzebub, it's the 7th-Day, how about the bread, cheese, water and a nice steak!" So, I want to do 40 consecutive days.
This weekend, I should get some reflective time to focus on the "why" of what I'm doing. As I get more insight of the situation, I'll be sharing it with you.
Random Notes: Started the day at 202 lbs - lost the calorie count, but between the McDonald's Shamrock Shake and Green Beer, will finish the day on a 9-Day high.
P.S. It's good to be Irish.
Beth and I went out to Pete's Tavern with some friends (most of whom do not read this) and in addition to the green beer, Pete's had corned beer and cabbage on the menu. Pete's also had some crazy old lady, dressed in green, playing the accordion table-side, which is somehow festive?
Prior to going out to Pete's, Beth was able to work from home today and watch Daniel, so that I was able to go into the office. Despite not having the additional stress of caring for Daniel, I didn't have much time for self enlightenment and have nothing new to add. I did get into a discussion with a friend about why I don't take Sunday's off from my fasting. To me, the idea of taking Sunday's off in a sacrifice for Lent is silly; every 7th-Day, during his 40-Days, Jesus didn't call out "Hey Beelzebub, it's the 7th-Day, how about the bread, cheese, water and a nice steak!" So, I want to do 40 consecutive days.
This weekend, I should get some reflective time to focus on the "why" of what I'm doing. As I get more insight of the situation, I'll be sharing it with you.
Random Notes: Started the day at 202 lbs - lost the calorie count, but between the McDonald's Shamrock Shake and Green Beer, will finish the day on a 9-Day high.
P.S. It's good to be Irish.
Day-8: The Battle of 2 Shakes
Time for a round of point - counterpoint. The participants: A homemade chocolate (SF) Slimfast shake and a (MD) McDonald's medium chocolate shake.
Cost: SF $0.98 / MD $2.85
Size: SF 8 oz / MD 20 oz
Calories: SF 200 / MD 725
Total Fat (Saturated Fat) w/ % of Daily Value: SF 4g 6% (1g 4%) / 17.5g 26% (10g 51%)
Sugar: SF 22g / MD 105g
Most Nutritional Thing About It: SF Go to it's website, the stuff is great for you / MD 128g (43% Daily Value) of Carbs - total energy
Thoughts After Finishing: SF "That should hold me for another three hours" / MD "I'm loading my sick son with pneumonia back in the car to get another one"
Taste: SF "ehh, decent chocolate milk, beats ovaltine" / MD "Lord, thank you for creating Ray Kroc, having him take over and grow McDonalds to what it is today"
Winner: McDonald's Medium Chocolate Shake
In case you couldn't tell, I enjoyed a one of McDonald's Triple Thick Medium Chocolate Shakes and it was delicious.
Day-8 Was a success - I haven't given any thought to what the title of my blog entry will be if I ever trip up and eat some solids, but I'm sure it will be evident what has happend.
Day-8 was also pretty uneventful in terms of me and my Lenten experience. Daniel has a slight case of pneumonia so I spent the day looking after him and trying to keep my builders happy with me. Those two tasks did not leave any leftover time for self reflection. About 8:15 PM an event made me realize that 8-Days is a long time to go without solids - Beth made a Hot Pocket and it smelled so good that my stomach lurched. When a Hot Pocket has that much culinary power, that person is seriously missing food.
As comedian Jim Gaffigan said "I've never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterward, been, 'I'm glad I ate that.'"
Random notes: Started the day at 204 lbs, 36" waist... tell you what, I'll stop writing 36" waist and just let you know when I'm a 34" waist. Finished the day about 1800 calories (includes the MD Shake) and looking forward to St. Patties Day!
Cost: SF $0.98 / MD $2.85
Size: SF 8 oz / MD 20 oz
Calories: SF 200 / MD 725
Total Fat (Saturated Fat) w/ % of Daily Value: SF 4g 6% (1g 4%) / 17.5g 26% (10g 51%)
Sugar: SF 22g / MD 105g
Most Nutritional Thing About It: SF Go to it's website, the stuff is great for you / MD 128g (43% Daily Value) of Carbs - total energy
Thoughts After Finishing: SF "That should hold me for another three hours" / MD "I'm loading my sick son with pneumonia back in the car to get another one"
Taste: SF "ehh, decent chocolate milk, beats ovaltine" / MD "Lord, thank you for creating Ray Kroc, having him take over and grow McDonalds to what it is today"
Winner: McDonald's Medium Chocolate Shake
In case you couldn't tell, I enjoyed a one of McDonald's Triple Thick Medium Chocolate Shakes and it was delicious.
Day-8 Was a success - I haven't given any thought to what the title of my blog entry will be if I ever trip up and eat some solids, but I'm sure it will be evident what has happend.
Day-8 was also pretty uneventful in terms of me and my Lenten experience. Daniel has a slight case of pneumonia so I spent the day looking after him and trying to keep my builders happy with me. Those two tasks did not leave any leftover time for self reflection. About 8:15 PM an event made me realize that 8-Days is a long time to go without solids - Beth made a Hot Pocket and it smelled so good that my stomach lurched. When a Hot Pocket has that much culinary power, that person is seriously missing food.
As comedian Jim Gaffigan said "I've never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterward, been, 'I'm glad I ate that.'"
Random notes: Started the day at 204 lbs, 36" waist... tell you what, I'll stop writing 36" waist and just let you know when I'm a 34" waist. Finished the day about 1800 calories (includes the MD Shake) and looking forward to St. Patties Day!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Day-7: The Things I've Been Tempted to Shove Down My Taste Hole
Day-7 of my self-denial of solid foods is almost over and like Days 2-6, I was never seriously close to eating anything. That isn't to say that I don't want to eat food, because I do, very badly. I just know that I have no problem drinking some V8 as oppose to crunching an apple or a handful of chips. However, I do have flashes of impulse that at the very least press my self-prescribed parameters.
The List (Keep in mind I have not done any of these):
- A spoonful of Mayo: after all, I could suck it through a straw and the spoon is just it's transport from the bottle to my lips
- Blended McDonald's French Fries: luckily to avoid this issue I've pretty much ruled out blending
- Beth's Fingers After Eating Chex Mix: Straight up, she'd of hit me so I didn't do it
- Meijer Butter Pretzel Braids: Opened a new bag for Daniel, they smelled so good
- Ketchup off Daniel's Plate: Kind of desperate
- The Inside of a Cadbury Creme Egg: If Lent didn't end before Easter I would
- A Blended Double Cheese Burger w/ Extra Pickles: See French Fries
- The Peanut Butter Off of The Knife Used to Make The Boy's a PB&J: Puts me just one step away from bottle feeding all condiments to myself
That's it for week one of: "The Things I've Been Tempted to Shove Down My Taste Hole". In regards to the "no blending" rule - I break it w/ blueberries. Upon consulting my doctor he told me that I'll need the good carbs that berries have, to keep my energy up. I happen to have frozen blueberries in my freezer, so once a day they go into a blended Slimfast shake.
Today I thought a little more about the "why I'm doing this?" and it kind of scared me. Upon examination, a very strong emotion was complacency. I said to myself, "I'm doing it, I've proved I can do it, now it's just a matter of time." I thought that since I had forecast that I was going to do it and now I'm doing it, why does the "why" matter? But it has to matter, otherwise I'm just doing one of the stupidest diets since "Cabbage soup and watermelon" and at the end of Day-40, I don't want the last 6-Weeks to have been about sad, shallow, vanity.
I won't miss my double chin (it won't be gone long) or that I'll be near my wedding weight, those are a couple perks. But I was healthy in my body before I started this and very happy with how I look and feel. I do need the "why", because when it is over the "why" is what will make the occasional mood swings (to be blogged about another day), the inconvenience of not eating, the 74 times I pee a day, or the redundant taste of liquid meals, all worth it. The "why" is how Jesus, my Lord and savior, ties it all together. When I take the diet out of the equation it gets confusing, but it should still add up. Blogging helps me to try and makes sense of everything and I'm now realizing that it helps hold me accountable for the "why". Without the blog I'd would have completed the diet successfully, but I think after 40-Days, it would have just been a weird diet.
I didn't pray for weeks on end asking God to tell me what to give up for Lent. In fact, I don't recall when, but one day I just spouted out that I'd give up solid foods for Lent and I didn't one pray about it. I now pray about it and though this journey wasn't founded by prayer, hopefully it will be clarified and completed with it.
I don't know... maybe today helped me to realize that diet is easy, it just takes patience and determination, stuff that I already knew that I had. That like the spoon with the mayo, the diet is just the vessel to get God more on my mind, I don't know... maybe.
I'm hoping that "why" eventually transitions into "what now" and again to "alright let's do it" - I am pretty sure that after Day-40 the road hasn't ended.
Random Notes: Started the day at 203 lbs, 36" waist (FYI, I have wide hips and I'm still at least 15 lbs from being a 34" waist). My muscles are slow to recover from the lift, which is sad but good to know. I'll ended around 1500 calories today and I'm wondering if I can get a Slimfast endorsement when this is all over.
The List (Keep in mind I have not done any of these):
- A spoonful of Mayo: after all, I could suck it through a straw and the spoon is just it's transport from the bottle to my lips
- Blended McDonald's French Fries: luckily to avoid this issue I've pretty much ruled out blending
- Beth's Fingers After Eating Chex Mix: Straight up, she'd of hit me so I didn't do it
- Meijer Butter Pretzel Braids: Opened a new bag for Daniel, they smelled so good
- Ketchup off Daniel's Plate: Kind of desperate
- The Inside of a Cadbury Creme Egg: If Lent didn't end before Easter I would
- A Blended Double Cheese Burger w/ Extra Pickles: See French Fries
- The Peanut Butter Off of The Knife Used to Make The Boy's a PB&J: Puts me just one step away from bottle feeding all condiments to myself
That's it for week one of: "The Things I've Been Tempted to Shove Down My Taste Hole". In regards to the "no blending" rule - I break it w/ blueberries. Upon consulting my doctor he told me that I'll need the good carbs that berries have, to keep my energy up. I happen to have frozen blueberries in my freezer, so once a day they go into a blended Slimfast shake.
Today I thought a little more about the "why I'm doing this?" and it kind of scared me. Upon examination, a very strong emotion was complacency. I said to myself, "I'm doing it, I've proved I can do it, now it's just a matter of time." I thought that since I had forecast that I was going to do it and now I'm doing it, why does the "why" matter? But it has to matter, otherwise I'm just doing one of the stupidest diets since "Cabbage soup and watermelon" and at the end of Day-40, I don't want the last 6-Weeks to have been about sad, shallow, vanity.
I won't miss my double chin (it won't be gone long) or that I'll be near my wedding weight, those are a couple perks. But I was healthy in my body before I started this and very happy with how I look and feel. I do need the "why", because when it is over the "why" is what will make the occasional mood swings (to be blogged about another day), the inconvenience of not eating, the 74 times I pee a day, or the redundant taste of liquid meals, all worth it. The "why" is how Jesus, my Lord and savior, ties it all together. When I take the diet out of the equation it gets confusing, but it should still add up. Blogging helps me to try and makes sense of everything and I'm now realizing that it helps hold me accountable for the "why". Without the blog I'd would have completed the diet successfully, but I think after 40-Days, it would have just been a weird diet.
I didn't pray for weeks on end asking God to tell me what to give up for Lent. In fact, I don't recall when, but one day I just spouted out that I'd give up solid foods for Lent and I didn't one pray about it. I now pray about it and though this journey wasn't founded by prayer, hopefully it will be clarified and completed with it.
I don't know... maybe today helped me to realize that diet is easy, it just takes patience and determination, stuff that I already knew that I had. That like the spoon with the mayo, the diet is just the vessel to get God more on my mind, I don't know... maybe.
I'm hoping that "why" eventually transitions into "what now" and again to "alright let's do it" - I am pretty sure that after Day-40 the road hasn't ended.
Random Notes: Started the day at 203 lbs, 36" waist (FYI, I have wide hips and I'm still at least 15 lbs from being a 34" waist). My muscles are slow to recover from the lift, which is sad but good to know. I'll ended around 1500 calories today and I'm wondering if I can get a Slimfast endorsement when this is all over.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Day-6: Almost Defeated by Veggie Tales?
Kinda, it was broccoli, but I wasn't defeated, I can sleep happily, just hungry. It was more of a slip of concentration rather than hunger. I was cooking broccoli for Beth and checked to see if it was the correct consistency, by taking a bite, however I realized my error before it hit my throat, the floret ended up in the sink and my mouth was rinsed with Budweiser.
Overall, in terms of my fasting, Day-6 was pretty uneventful. No real struggles, I'm pretty used to liquids and my doctor is even interested in seeing the final outcome. My day outside of the fast was busy and hectic, creating little time for contemplation. If by day 25 I'm yet to report any noteworthy revelations will somebody please remind me as to why I'm doing this in the first place? I can accept getting used to the system and an occasional busy day to delay progress, but at some point and time I should have at least one deep thought.
Started the day at 204 lbs, 36" waist. Going to finish closer to 2,000 calories. I did lift with my neighbor today and was not hindered by the lack of solids. We've only been lifting for about a month and we are both still showing the rapid progress of getting back into the swing of things. I'm curious to see how my muscle recovery is come morning and how my lifting stamina is on Wednesday (we lift 2x a week).
Overall, in terms of my fasting, Day-6 was pretty uneventful. No real struggles, I'm pretty used to liquids and my doctor is even interested in seeing the final outcome. My day outside of the fast was busy and hectic, creating little time for contemplation. If by day 25 I'm yet to report any noteworthy revelations will somebody please remind me as to why I'm doing this in the first place? I can accept getting used to the system and an occasional busy day to delay progress, but at some point and time I should have at least one deep thought.
Started the day at 204 lbs, 36" waist. Going to finish closer to 2,000 calories. I did lift with my neighbor today and was not hindered by the lack of solids. We've only been lifting for about a month and we are both still showing the rapid progress of getting back into the swing of things. I'm curious to see how my muscle recovery is come morning and how my lifting stamina is on Wednesday (we lift 2x a week).
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Day-5: Passed with Flying Colors - Still, I want a freaking Cheeseburger
Okay, so the day isn't officially over - still, I'm not going to eat any solids before I go to sleep. Though I can tell you that 5-Days with no solid foods is not nearly as much fun as you might think it is. You might say "Slimfast never gets old" or "Who wouldn't love going pee 74 times a day?" or even "Jesus did it for 40 without a blog to whine on" but you'd be wrong.
Truly, five days is not as bad as you'd think. So far, Day-1 has been the most challenging, but I'm expecting days 10-13 to be the worst. I've kicked the habit of grabbing a handful of whatever is on the counter as I walk by and I have no issues making for for Beth or the boys, but for no obvious reason I think next Friday through Monday will be rough.
Still no spiritual, self fulfilling, theological or inspirational revelations - just "Jesus didn't have Slimfast."
I have started to wonder the actual date I'm going to start food again and I'm a little torn on the issue. At the start of this endeavor I decided that I was going to go 40 straight days, no breaks. The problem is that I started on Ash Wednesday, which would make April 17th my 40th Day and Monday, April 18th, my first day of food. Easter Sunday is April 24th, Good Friday is April 22nd. Seeing as this isn't a typical Protestant Reformed tradition and I wasn't handed a manual, not counting the Bible, I'm doing this on my own. Wiki tells me that most Catholics have "mini Easters" on the six Sundays leading up to Easter, ending Lent with Easter, so they get 40 Days that are just not consecutive. Some other religions go from the Monday following Ash Wednesday to Good Friday (40 Days), without breaks. Had I more forethought beyond buying a case of Slimfast and V8 last Tuesday, I probably would have waited till tomorrow to start, but since I'm already 5-Days in, I'm not going to go get a Double Whopper right now and restart the clock tomorrow (though the idea makes my mouth water).
At this point at time I'm not sure when I'm going to eat next and not really concerned, I'm sure by day 37 or so, I'll have it figured out. I know that some people would break out in hives not having an exit plan in place but for now I'm focusing on other things.
Random Notes: Started at 204 lbs, 36" waist, will finish with about 1800 calories. I knew first 5-7 lbs were food / water weight, I don't expect it to fall off quite so quickly from here on out.
Truly, five days is not as bad as you'd think. So far, Day-1 has been the most challenging, but I'm expecting days 10-13 to be the worst. I've kicked the habit of grabbing a handful of whatever is on the counter as I walk by and I have no issues making for for Beth or the boys, but for no obvious reason I think next Friday through Monday will be rough.
Still no spiritual, self fulfilling, theological or inspirational revelations - just "Jesus didn't have Slimfast."
I have started to wonder the actual date I'm going to start food again and I'm a little torn on the issue. At the start of this endeavor I decided that I was going to go 40 straight days, no breaks. The problem is that I started on Ash Wednesday, which would make April 17th my 40th Day and Monday, April 18th, my first day of food. Easter Sunday is April 24th, Good Friday is April 22nd. Seeing as this isn't a typical Protestant Reformed tradition and I wasn't handed a manual, not counting the Bible, I'm doing this on my own. Wiki tells me that most Catholics have "mini Easters" on the six Sundays leading up to Easter, ending Lent with Easter, so they get 40 Days that are just not consecutive. Some other religions go from the Monday following Ash Wednesday to Good Friday (40 Days), without breaks. Had I more forethought beyond buying a case of Slimfast and V8 last Tuesday, I probably would have waited till tomorrow to start, but since I'm already 5-Days in, I'm not going to go get a Double Whopper right now and restart the clock tomorrow (though the idea makes my mouth water).
At this point at time I'm not sure when I'm going to eat next and not really concerned, I'm sure by day 37 or so, I'll have it figured out. I know that some people would break out in hives not having an exit plan in place but for now I'm focusing on other things.
Random Notes: Started at 204 lbs, 36" waist, will finish with about 1800 calories. I knew first 5-7 lbs were food / water weight, I don't expect it to fall off quite so quickly from here on out.
Day-4: Chex Mix Has Never Smelled So Good
And I cleared my first Saturday.
While sitting on the couch last night, watching Robin Hood with Beth, I couldn't help but drool over the Chex Mix that she was snacking on. Mind you, this batch is well over a week old and down to the crumbs, but I could smell the salty, buttery goodness that was dusting her fingers... Even walking into a kitchen where a homemade batch is baking fresh, I have never wanted to grab a handful of Chex more than I did last night on couch. On more than one occasions I was fighting the urge to lick Beth's fingers for her!
Saturday was a pretty low key day for us; it was filled with family time, which is something we haven't had on a Saturday in a while and missed. We watched cartoons, went to the library, had lunch and during the boy's nap time, Beth went to Target / Costco and I made Vegetable Ham soup, just so I could drink the broth :)
It was pretty simple: 1 stick of butter, 2 tbsp of olive oil, 2 tsp of minced garlic, 1/2 a white onion (chopped), 15 baby carrots (chopped), 1/3 a head of broccoli, 1 can of Italian diced tomatoes, 1 box of chicken stock, 1 Ham steak (cubed), water, salt, pepper, celery salt, parsley, and liquid smoke to taste. I let it simmer for about 2 hours and strained off some broth. Beth correctly pointed out that it was a lot of effort just to drink some broth, but to have a substitute to V8 and Slimfast is worth the effort at times :)
Regrettably, I didn't spend much time thinking about the "why am I doing this" and focused mostly on "hey, I am still doing this." I was hoping that Church might help me with the "why" but Daniel started (and is now thankfully over) a bug that spiked his temperature up to 103.2, so Church was missed today. This week I'll continue to keep my mind open, stomach empty and tongue salivating.
Some other random notes: Started the day at 204 lbs, 36" waist, finished the day with about 1800 calories. 2 Beers still got right to my head. Dehydrogenation is an issue when not eating solids and I need to consciously drink more water. Advertisers are against me (BK Stacker is now only $1.00 per layer) and despite I'm not eating, I still love to watch cooking shows!
While sitting on the couch last night, watching Robin Hood with Beth, I couldn't help but drool over the Chex Mix that she was snacking on. Mind you, this batch is well over a week old and down to the crumbs, but I could smell the salty, buttery goodness that was dusting her fingers... Even walking into a kitchen where a homemade batch is baking fresh, I have never wanted to grab a handful of Chex more than I did last night on couch. On more than one occasions I was fighting the urge to lick Beth's fingers for her!
Saturday was a pretty low key day for us; it was filled with family time, which is something we haven't had on a Saturday in a while and missed. We watched cartoons, went to the library, had lunch and during the boy's nap time, Beth went to Target / Costco and I made Vegetable Ham soup, just so I could drink the broth :)
It was pretty simple: 1 stick of butter, 2 tbsp of olive oil, 2 tsp of minced garlic, 1/2 a white onion (chopped), 15 baby carrots (chopped), 1/3 a head of broccoli, 1 can of Italian diced tomatoes, 1 box of chicken stock, 1 Ham steak (cubed), water, salt, pepper, celery salt, parsley, and liquid smoke to taste. I let it simmer for about 2 hours and strained off some broth. Beth correctly pointed out that it was a lot of effort just to drink some broth, but to have a substitute to V8 and Slimfast is worth the effort at times :)
Regrettably, I didn't spend much time thinking about the "why am I doing this" and focused mostly on "hey, I am still doing this." I was hoping that Church might help me with the "why" but Daniel started (and is now thankfully over) a bug that spiked his temperature up to 103.2, so Church was missed today. This week I'll continue to keep my mind open, stomach empty and tongue salivating.
Some other random notes: Started the day at 204 lbs, 36" waist, finished the day with about 1800 calories. 2 Beers still got right to my head. Dehydrogenation is an issue when not eating solids and I need to consciously drink more water. Advertisers are against me (BK Stacker is now only $1.00 per layer) and despite I'm not eating, I still love to watch cooking shows!
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